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  you are here  >>> REACT > advice gURL > friends  
  related topics  >>>  friends & family    

 

what's advice gURL?

i'm falling for my best friend

my friend dates boys i like

my best friend is bisexual

i'm christian but my friend has no idea who god is

my friend has been drinking and doing lots of drugs

i just moved and i have no life

my friend is homophobic.

i told my friend she's fat

my friends think my boyfriend is ugly

how can i show him that he's being racist?

i am a perpetual liar...

my mom uses me to get closer to my sister...

my friend is a freeloader...

she's conceited and it's driving me nuts...

her singing voice sucks...

my two best friends don't get along

how do i stand up to a "mean girl"?

my friend is the biggest flirt.

My friend is the biggest flirt.

i saw my friend's bf cheating on her...

i don't want to share clothes...

my friend uses her ADD as an excuse

my friend's stealing my stuff

me and my best friend have been drifting apart...

My friend is competing with me

my best friend has a new best friend

my friends tease me for being skinny

my friend thinks i'm the girl of his dreams

both sides want me to choose between them

my two closest friends just started going out with each other

all my friend talks about is her new guy

my friend's mom keeps interfering in our business

my friend makes rude comments about my weight

my friend's a perfectionist

my friends are playing tug-of-war with me!

i want people to stop making fun of me...

she's saying things behind my back...

cheap and thoughtful bday present ideas?

i feel like i'm losing my best friend...

my friend's step-dad just died...

i think she's interested in me...

my best friend's mom hates me.

my friend is very homophobic.

my best friend likes my ex-boyfriend.

my best friend ignores me when she has a boyfriend.

i called my friend 'nasty' for not using a condom.

my best friend is in love with a complete loser.

what makes a good best friend?

my best friend is slowly changing.

my friend is constantly putting me down.

i get upset when i see my crush and my best friend together.

my best friend's mom thinks i'm a TOTAL druggie!

my best friend chose her boyfriend over me.

none of my friends take me seriously.

my best friend slept with my other best friend's boyfriend.

I'm noticing annoying things about my best friend that never used to be annoying before.

i don't think i'll have any friends when i go back to school

i don't trust my best friend's boyfriend.

i told my friend i'm bisexual; now she's acting different around me.

i received an email from an old friend who hasn't spoken to me in years.

i'm starting to like my friend but he's gay. what should i do?

i like this guy, but now my best friend feels like a third wheel.

my friend is extremely clingy. how do i get her to leave me alone?

my best friend went off to college and i feel like she doesn't care about our friendship anymore.

i'm afraid to tell my friends i'm bisexual. what should i do?

my best friend smokes weed every day. i'm worried, but she won't listen.

my best friend wants to read my diary. how do i keep my private writing private?

my friend just told me she has cancer, but she won't talk about it.

i made out with my best friend and now i feel awkward around her.

my friend got jumped and i want to get back at the girl who did it.

my friend's boyfriend broke up with her for my other friend and i'm stuck in the middle.

i made a comment about barack obama and now my friend thinks i'm racist.


My friend's a SUPER perfectionist and it's driving me crazy! I love my friend a lot, but everything she does HAS to be perfect and I'm like the total opposite. It's not that she's a mean person, it's just the little things, like how she can't have more than one window open on her computer or she'll go CRAZY, that really bug me. How can I tell her without hurting her feelings? And if I tell her, will it change anything?

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    Hear this...
    Well, I think that you should just keep it real with your friend. If she can't handle positive criticism then something is wrong. And when you tell her how you feel about her behavior, don't be mean and surly with it. The best way for you to get through your friendship is to be honest with one another. Well, that's all I have to say! ~1~
    --Posted by girl_nexdoor08
    10:20AM EST 11/23/05


    
    Perfectionism can't really be reversed...
    I'm a perfectionist and I hear about it ALL the time. It can't really be changed though. It's just the way a person is, and a lot of times if there is a perfectionist in the family (like a mom or dad) a child is more likely to be a perfectionist too. You aren't going to change her--I can guarantee you that--but if it really bothers you let her know (in a polite way) so that she's aware. Just don't expect any changes. It's a lifestyle and once you live it it's nearly impossible to get out of it.
    --Posted by livingonadream
    05:44PM EST 11/21/05


    
    Why do you care so much?
    If you are being nitpicky about her being nitpicky I'd almost say that's slightly hypocritical. It's not that big of a deal if she doesn't want windows open. I don't think you really need to talk to her about it, it's not a big deal. Figure out why it makes you so mad, because it doesn't seem like what she's doing should make you that mad.
    --Posted by kelsiandmike
    12:52AM EST 11/20/05


    
    Communication is key
    Sit her down and let her know that not everything has to be perfect. Just express your opinion, but be nice about it. Some people are just naturally born perfectionists and she might feel like you're trying to change her.
    --Posted by seeing-starz
    06:37PM EST 11/19/05


    
    I'm a perfectionist...
    You can talk to her all you want but it's not going to change anything. I'm a perfectionist and people have tried talking about it to me. I just can't help the way I am. Maybe if you're lucky she'll tone it down a notch, but don't expect the behavior to disappear completely.
    --Posted by wes2
    11:09AM EST 11/19/05



    
    We're in the same boat.
    My friend has obsessions with the little things also, but I figure, we're best friends right? Just love her for who she is! She's your home gURL! Now, if it's bothering you to the point of recklessness, then wait for a time when it's just you two and say, "You know, not everything has to be perfect." Then, untuck your shirt or mess up your eyebrow and leave it to show her it's okay! If she really has a mental problem (which is okay!) maybe you should tell her parents. Good luck. ~Maggs
    --Posted by maggs1228
    12:04AM EST 11/19/05


    
    Talking helps!
    You have got to talk to her. I'm like a double personality kind of person. I can be a total perfectionist and a total slob at times. And when I'm annoying people with my perfection-addiction, I like to have them tell me. Whenever she closes one window at the computer to open another, gently say, "Why don't you leave both open?" Who knows? Maybe she'll try it. You don't know until you talk.
    --Posted by the_girl_1893
    10:33PM EST 11/18/05


    
    I think...
    I think you should just come out and tell her. I was in a similar situation and I just told her what I thought. She was mad at me for a while but we worked through it. I think if she's a true friend she won't take it as something bad.
    --Posted by simpleplanrocks
    05:44PM EST 11/18/05


    
    I'm a perfectionist myself...
    Whether it will hurt her depends on what kind of person she is. How sensitive is she? I think you should ask her to be a little more tolerant or at least not make a big deal about things. See if you can get her to fix whatever is bothering her quietly without a lot of complaining and freaking out.
    --Posted by rinna
    05:37PM EST 11/18/05


    
    Well
    I would talk to her about it, otherwise nothing is going to change, you know? That's just what I would do.
    --Posted by bpblondie818
    01:26PM EST 11/18/05

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