Hi.
It's hard to know why we feel the way we do about such things. It can be difficult to separate ourselves from the messages we receive about intimate activities from our culture, families, friends and the media. If you are religious, your religion may even be part of the debate in your head.
It's also confusing because there are so many messages that discourage young women from exploring their sensuality and sexuality, yet we can't escape images and depictions of sexually active and confident young women--they're everywhere. No wonder you are feeling conflicted.
As far as feeling better about getting intimate with your boyfriend, feeling good about your choices is a good step in the right direction. It sounds as though you have already set a boundary for yourself--you engage in intimate activity but do not have sex. It's great you have learned to set boundaries and to stick by them...until you are ready to go to the next step.
I wouldn't worry too much in the meantime. Your unease is likely to fade naturally, as you develop more of a sense of yourself and your own views about morality, sex and sexuality.
Take care.
