Hi.
I'm sorry that you had to go through such a horrible incident. I can definitely understand why you are struggling right now. A school shooting is not only a traumatic experience for those who are injured--it is also traumatic for students and other staff members who attend the school where the unexpected violence occurs.
According to psychologist Dr. Natalie Humphrey, "Most people who lose a teacher or friend to such a traumatic event will experience intense psychological distress. Many people experience fear, difficulty sleeping, bad dreams, vivid memories about the event, irritability and even a depressed mood. Others may also find it hard to return to school or other situations that remind them of the event."
Though most people eventually bounce back to normal, she says, healing from this kind of psychological trauma sometimes takes a great deal of time. Since you have been affected for over a year and you're still having trouble sleeping, I would recommend that you continue with some form of therapy.
If you feel that this particular therapist is ineffective or can't relate well enough to what you're going through, talk to your parents about finding another mental health practitioner. A school psychologist may be able to offer a referral. Or if you merely feel that you need additional assistance, ask your present therapist to refer you a support group in your area.
In the meantime, you may find it helpful to talk an adult or close friend about the way you have been feeling. You may also try to find new ways to relax before going to bed--for example, doing yoga, deep breathing exercises or meditation each night before you sleep. Physical exercise before going to bed may aid sleep, too.
While you certainly cannot erase these frightening memories, you can learn new ways to cope with them. I hope this helps.
Take care.
