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  you are here  >>> FIND OUT > help me heather > sucky emotions  
  related topics  >>>  being yourself  |  school & careers  |  sucky emotions    

 


 
  Dear Heather,

People are always making fun of me for stupid reasons. I try not to let it get to me, but sometimes it's just hard and it does get to me. How can I handle this? I don't want to tell an adult or teacher. I want to know how to handle this on my own.

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Hi.

It's perfectly normal to feel hurt or upset by what people say about you sometimes. You're only human, after all, and not made of Teflon. It's even worse if you are taking in what people say about you and believing it. It may help to know that those who are the most vicious in their verbal attacks on other people are often the most insecure about their own worth. Try not to make their personal troubles your own. Seeing the pain behind their attempts to put you down, may help you detach from what they're actually saying, to think of it as irrelevant.

If you have a tough time not "taking in" their criticism, there are ways to affect a more Teflon-like psychological defense. The key is to develop a strong sense of who you are as a person. Adolescent psychologist Dr. Sharon Bud says one way to cement a more confident sense of self is to engage in positive self-talk. Remind yourself often what your strengths are and concentrate on those. Actively work on improving in the areas in which you feel lacking. Sometimes acknowledging that you do have some areas to work on and then actually working on them is enough to give you a calming sense of power.

Dr. Budd says creative visualization may also help. Come up with an image of an ally you can picture when you feel attacked. This may be a supportive person already in your life--like your favorite aunt or that teacher that always looks out for you--or it may be someone you create from your own imagination. Either way, this technique is likely to help you feel less alone.

 
   
 
 

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